


*Teenagers*

by loki_of_jotunheim



Category: Alex Rider - Anthony Horowitz
Genre: Crack, Crack Taken Seriously
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-18
Updated: 2020-07-18
Packaged: 2021-03-05 08:01:31
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 722
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25347385
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/loki_of_jotunheim/pseuds/loki_of_jotunheim
Summary: Alex wasn’t sure when he’d gotten used to Julius trying to kill him. Julius wasn’t sure when he’d stopped trying seriously. Yassen was just tired.a drabble i wrote bc we were talking about Julius and Alex on the discord. assume at some point, Alex went and joined yassen and Julius and scorpia.
Relationships: Alex Rider & Julius Grief
Comments: 23
Kudos: 100





	*Teenagers*

**Author's Note:**

> The only explanation I have for this is crackfic. Literally. That's it.

“JULIUS I WILL FUCKING MURDER YOU!” Alex yelled as a crate nearly missed his head, _again_. “I WILL BREAK MY NO MURDER RULE _JUST FOR YOU!_ ” 

“I’D LIKE TO SEE YOU TRY!” The other boy screeched back, shooting at one of their targets as he did. The two glared balefully at each other before Yassen appeared and stared at them both disapprovingly. 

“He started it!” They said in unison. 

Alex sensed the poison right before he swallowed the food and spit it out, startling the other Malagosto students out of their peaceful lunches. He shoved his plate back and clambered _over the tables_ and launched himself at Julius. 

Julius, for once, hadn’t been expecting it. He was knocked onto the floor and forced to attempt to pry Alex’s fingers from around his throat. 

“If you’re going to try and murder me AT LEAST DO IT TO MY FACE!” Alex screeched.

“I’M SORRY I DIDN’T REALIZE THERE WERE RULES I HAD TO FOLLOW!” Julius shoved him off and went for the fork on the table. Alex went for another fork and the two of them stared at each other warily, waiting for one of them to twitch. 

The other students waited with bated breath, even though this was quickly becoming a usual thing. It certainly livened things up a bit. 

Yassen walked in before either teenager could actually do anything. He took one look at the scene, closed his eyes briefly and then stared at the two teens, who instantly stopped what they were doing. 

“Do I need to call Dr. Three?” He said. 

“No!” Alex and Julius both said at once. Julius discreetly set the fork down while Alex accidentally sent his flying across the room. 

Julius gave him a look of condescension and Alex had to restrain himself from launching himself at Julius again.

Yassen sat down at the table the three usually sat at together and the other two joined him with no trace of what had happened a moment before. The other students resumed their lunches. Just another day at Malagosto. 

It was another assignment, and Alex saw the perfect opportunity for maybe getting Julius-the-perpetual-annoyance out of his hair for once. He crept up and was about an inch away from succeeding before Julius noticed and shot a glare at him. 

“Really?” Julius hissed. “During the assignment?” 

“Oh, I’m sorry, I didn’t realize there were _rules_ to this.” Alex mocked but backed away...for now. 

The _second_ they had finished, Alex again launched himself at Julius. 

Yassen let the two roll around for a few minutes and then tranquilized both of them. 

_Teenagers_.

Alex absentmindedly caught the knife headed his way and gave a disappointed look to Julius. That was bad by even Alex’s standards. Julius rolled his eyes and Alex barely dodged the dart that flew past a second later. _That_ got an approving grin from Alex before he sent the knife right back and it impaled itself in the wall inches from Julius’s ear. 

Alex stopped in the middle of the hallway as a sudden realization hit. Yassen prodded him and gave a tiny frown as he couldn’t get Alex to move. 

“Is there a problem?” Cossack asked the teen. 

“ _Julius hasn’t tried to kill me today._ ” Alex whispered, stricken. 

“Isn’t that a good thing?” Yassen was confused. 

“No.” Alex said, mournfully. 

The mission had been successful and now Julius and Alex were sitting in the cafeteria.

Julius frowned. Alex was sad and staring at him with wide eyes like a puppy. Julius tried to think of why Alex might be looking at him like that. 

“Why are you staring at me like that?” He finally asked at a loss. 

“Like what?” Alex said, continuing his sad expression. 

“Like _that_. Did I not hug you today or something?” 

“No.” Alex said. 

“Did I take one of your shirts?” 

“No.” 

“Did I try and kill you today?” Julius finally said, exasperated. 

“ _N_ _o_.” Alex whispered, sadly. 

_Oh_. 

Julius was thrown. What did he do? Wait - when did he stop wanting to kill Alex? Well, he didn’t anymore, so Alex would just have to _deal with it._ Back to solving this particular problem. 

Julius lightly poked Alex with his fork.

Alex brightened. 

Yassen, who had been watching the entire thing, audibly let his head drop onto the table. 

_Teenagers_. 


End file.
